Paano ba sukatin ang lalim ng dagat?
Ilang oras ba ang kailangan gugulin upang magmahal?
Isa? Dalawa? Tatlo? Isang Araw ba?
Upang malaman na totoo at wagas?
O dalawampung taon, dalawang dekada?

O isang kisapmata?

– When a lifetime unfolds before your eyes in seconds.

Filling the void.

I saw it and everything faded in the shadows. It was a momentary revelation, of things ahead, of who I was and what I wanted in my life.  It was like seeing myself from another plane where nothing else matters and time does not exist. Hard to explain and I am still in disbelief.

Shift. Everything that happened next was a blur.  It was a phase where everything was taking form, all at the same time. Caught up in the moment and in the middle of the haste it appeared like a silhouette, a flame that shone bright and I did not miss it. Yet it was at a time where I was only allowed to take a glimpse. I was the only one who recognized it and so I decided to stay unaffected. I like being in my safe zone, yet it pulled me off tangent. For the first time in my LIFE, I was crazy, irrational, and  brave. It was the only time  that my passion is stronger  than my fear. Rules of engagement – I was at war with myself.

Take the plunge.

I almost did; the LIGHT I saw was illuminating, warm. It felt like I was home. Safe, quiet, a burst of emotions welled up inside. Familiarity. It felt right but wrong in all the ways. I thought I was brave enough but I am a coward. Back into my shell. It will dissolve, as I hoped it would. (or not)

Timelessness.

Everything was suspended in midair. There was no explanation (as to) why there is a continuum. I have never felt the pain of its absence, and yet it was ever present. I remember the way it touches my soul. I left it locked, tucked away from sight, yet it still haunts me. Each day, each night, an unending battle with my consciousness and my religion. I believe in God but I also believe in destiny and the universe . Nothing is coincidental. It never left me and it plagued me in my silence.

LOVE is such a disease. You break rules and when you win, you still lose.

I still roam this earth searching for LIFE, LIGHT, LOVE – hoping to see it in the next.

(Buhay, Liwanag, Pag-Ibig)

(unfinished)pa.

-cricket

Literary. Fragments. Inspired by Paolo Coehlo’s works.